Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
