Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
