YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
