I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
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