If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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