Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you traded sex for a burrito?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
