Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
