You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
