i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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