I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
