I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So many bounce houses so little time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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