Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize