**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize