it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she peed on how many people?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
