Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
