your parents love me but you hate me
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Randomize
