bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
