I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Text me some of your sweat
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
