Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
