Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
