dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
