I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
