Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
