there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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