.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
