Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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