seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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