I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
