Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize