is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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