Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
