You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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