As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
