barbara walters just said penis...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
