A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
