I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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