you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
