Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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