i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
