Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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