Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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