I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I think I just sharted jello shots
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