I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize