Got a toothbrush?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
