i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
