I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Your dad touched me again.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
