Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?

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  (913): end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/fo6s
  Replies (5) Good night (851) Bad night (717)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss

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  (847): True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss http://tfl.nu/8437
  Replies (22) Good night (5111) Bad night (539)
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  (714): View more from California

  She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.

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  (714): She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep. http://tfl.nu/k8wl
  Replies (17) Good night (6693) Bad night (2147)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like

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  (781): I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like http://tfl.nu/tc65
  Replies (6) Good night (3308) Bad night (939)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober

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  (608): so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober http://tfl.nu/y352
  Replies (6) Good night (930) Bad night (3450)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.

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  (336): But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob. http://tfl.nu/czfm
  Replies (10) Good night (2022) Bad night (633)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw

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  (334): I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw http://tfl.nu/eazo
  Replies (7) Good night (1271) Bad night (448)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...

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  (206): I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him... http://tfl.nu/o74a
  Replies (6) Good night (832) Bad night (453)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?

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  (231): Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again? http://tfl.nu/uf7o
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (700)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.

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  (281): Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real. http://tfl.nu/xx9a
  Replies (4) Good night (822) Bad night (524)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.

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  (208): My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead. http://tfl.nu/asjm
  Replies (2) Good night (330) Bad night (627)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like

  (972): View more from Texas

  Why do you text me weird shit like this?

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  (214): True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like (972): Why do you text me weird shit like this? http://tfl.nu/hcc5
  Replies (5) Good night (1083) Bad night (372)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.

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  (416): I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am. http://tfl.nu/zlza
  Replies (18) Good night (453) Bad night (791)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.

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  (479): Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals. http://tfl.nu/0t02
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (208)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?

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  (515): I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life? http://tfl.nu/joka
  Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (223)

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