Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!

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(619): Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant! http://tfl.nu/toiz

Replies (18) Good night (1773) Bad night (647)
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(936): View more from Texas

what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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(936): what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card? http://tfl.nu/bsy4

Replies (78) Good night (5441) Bad night (872)
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(256): View more from Alabama

so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.

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(256): so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart. http://tfl.nu/u8db

Replies (30) Good night (8070) Bad night (1143)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.

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(615): She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse. http://tfl.nu/chf5

Replies (6) Good night (1064) Bad night (2271)
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(517): View more from Michigan

She just said, "are my livers going to die?"

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(517): She just said, "are my livers going to die?" http://tfl.nu/litp

Replies (12) Good night (3289) Bad night (1124)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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(678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x

Replies (5) Good night (1410) Bad night (941)
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(+35): View more from

I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.

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(+35): I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH. http://tfl.nu/jeai

Replies (7) Good night (2341) Bad night (730)
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(289): View more from Ontario

you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window

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(289): you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window http://tfl.nu/k0yo

Replies (7) Good night (1616) Bad night (721)
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(420): View more from

It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.

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(420): It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own. http://tfl.nu/cuwi

Replies (6) Good night (1471) Bad night (429)
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(907): View more from Alaska

I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.

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(907): I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks. http://tfl.nu/ytg5

Replies (2) Good night (938) Bad night (449)
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(712): View more from Iowa

He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"

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(712): He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza" http://tfl.nu/tedt

Replies (6) Good night (442) Bad night (1112)
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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection

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(440): I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection http://tfl.nu/hamn

Replies (2) Good night (1188) Bad night (435)
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(347): View more from New York

My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted

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(347): My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted http://tfl.nu/iwx2

Replies (4) Good night (1695) Bad night (330)
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(775): View more from Nevada

He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party

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(775): He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party http://tfl.nu/btv9

Replies (8) Good night (544) Bad night (407)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet

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(303): I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet http://tfl.nu/m8aq

Replies (6) Good night (222) Bad night (348)

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