3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
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I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got