I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.