dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.