Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.

  (1-847): View more from Illinois

  I should injure you considerably.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so. (1-847): I should injure you considerably. http://tfl.nu/3r9j
  Replies (86) Good night (4091) Bad night (1636)
• Favorite

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (612): We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk. http://tfl.nu/j1no
  Replies (25) Good night (11975) Bad night (805)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting." http://tfl.nu/dhfp
  Replies (27) Good night (4186) Bad night (2068)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (713): I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source. http://tfl.nu/tbks
  Replies (98) Good night (2891) Bad night (7201)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me. http://tfl.nu/0mc8
  Replies (19) Good night (4553) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930. http://tfl.nu/kxnv
  Replies (14) Good night (3149) Bad night (969)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad http://tfl.nu/hc4q
  Replies (9) Good night (4001) Bad night (1338)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (801) Bad night (1702)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver. http://tfl.nu/b2sj
  Replies (3) Good night (1314) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.

  (205): View more from Alabama

  But happy liver failure. That's what counts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (205): In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure. (205): But happy liver failure. That's what counts. http://tfl.nu/m2wy
  Replies (3) Good night (1592) Bad night (715)
• Favorite

  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (709): I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards. http://tfl.nu/5dgw
  Replies (6) Good night (1488) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success. http://tfl.nu/s9uu
  Replies (4) Good night (1208) Bad night (383)
• Favorite

  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+31): Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming. http://tfl.nu/ki11
  Replies (4) Good night (1985) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (989): I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor" http://tfl.nu/29c1
  Replies (1) Good night (593) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two. http://tfl.nu/rn6m
  Replies (6) Good night (238) Bad night (730)

Randomize