i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together