Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

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(216): In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case. http://tfl.nu/3se1

Replies (18) Good night (5293) Bad night (1035)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air

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(952): You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air http://tfl.nu/002i

Replies (6) Good night (1405) Bad night (4050)
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(518): View more from New York

Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.

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(518): Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help. http://tfl.nu/q9on

Replies (39) Good night (850) Bad night (9240)
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(425): View more from Washington

I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.

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(425): I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up. http://tfl.nu/h9rh

Replies (18) Good night (3829) Bad night (1045)
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(334): View more from Alabama

This hangover is way worse than all my relationships

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(334): This hangover is way worse than all my relationships http://tfl.nu/m3xj

Replies (6) Good night (1166) Bad night (3621)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.

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(479): By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo. http://tfl.nu/nmdz

Replies (9) Good night (2290) Bad night (950)
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(254): View more from Texas

Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."

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(254): Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen." http://tfl.nu/2yxx

Replies (11) Good night (4249) Bad night (1340)
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(815): View more from Illinois

We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.

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(815): We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of. http://tfl.nu/md9p

Replies (21) Good night (1579) Bad night (2485)
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(406): View more from Montana

He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.

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(406): He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell. http://tfl.nu/7ioa

Replies (11) Good night (1371) Bad night (936)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."

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(814): He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van." http://tfl.nu/71uy

Replies (5) Good night (1480) Bad night (603)
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(541): View more from Oregon

I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.

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(541): I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore. http://tfl.nu/w4vs

Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (746)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.

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(908): Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila. http://tfl.nu/habz

Replies (3) Good night (689) Bad night (405)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.

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(860): Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character. http://tfl.nu/v0k6

Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (438)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.

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(952): Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win. http://tfl.nu/6dep

Replies (0) Good night (558) Bad night (282)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to

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(630): i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to http://tfl.nu/e051

Replies (2) Good night (207) Bad night (321)

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