Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  And mexicans. My burrito likes you.

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  (212): And mexicans. My burrito likes you. http://tfl.nu/p311
  Replies (2) Good night (1804) Bad night (748)
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  (916): View more from California

  I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.

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  (916): I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy. http://tfl.nu/1tnq
  Replies (7) Good night (1743) Bad night (446)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.

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  (609): Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares. http://tfl.nu/trym
  Replies (37) Good night (5167) Bad night (787)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

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  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2427) Bad night (4638)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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  (201): i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/ojs9
  Replies (29) Good night (1180) Bad night (6706)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that

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  (508): I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that http://tfl.nu/gfaw
  Replies (24) Good night (3972) Bad night (1706)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you

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  (720): Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you http://tfl.nu/jkt1
  Replies (20) Good night (5018) Bad night (999)
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  (530): View more from California

  regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle

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  (530): regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle http://tfl.nu/1njn
  Replies (10) Good night (3403) Bad night (1751)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.

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  (907): She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone. http://tfl.nu/lil1
  Replies (7) Good night (3635) Bad night (761)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo

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  (703): The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo http://tfl.nu/6q1j
  Replies (6) Good night (1234) Bad night (2346)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I am both scared and jealous.

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  (610): Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption. (201): I am both scared and jealous. http://tfl.nu/hrb8
  Replies (4) Good night (2944) Bad night (912)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (876) Bad night (1690)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.

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  (904): I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really. http://tfl.nu/399x
  Replies (4) Good night (1350) Bad night (421)
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  (524): View more from

  I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.

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  (524): I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex. http://tfl.nu/y2h0
  Replies (6) Good night (307) Bad night (1562)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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  (402): Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday http://tfl.nu/hnnk
  Replies (0) Good night (267) Bad night (364)

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