I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
