If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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