I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
