In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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