your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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