Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm đđ»đ
We are so blessed
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I know youâre not my dad, but youâre someone dad. And youâre also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Fatherâs Day
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