bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just gargled with NyQuil
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
