I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
