I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
