We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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