When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
