And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
