Are we in a gay sports bar?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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